Thursday, November 17, 2011

Preoccupied

The Occupy Wall Street movement officially marks its 2-month anniversary today, and I'd just like to say congratulations!

Now pack up your tents and go home.

The protest, and its various offshoots around the world, calling for big banks and other multinational corporations to pay their fair share of the national tax burden, has certainly put a microscope on the financial inequities of life in the 21st century. Millionaires, billionaires, banks, corporations – they should all be hanging their heads in shame, realizing, perhaps for the first time, what greedy bastards they are.

But you see, here's the thing: they're not. And the protesters should get it through their collective skull that camping out, having a nationwide pajama party – even if it goes on for months – is not going to lead to the changes they for which they apparently hope. Because really rich people, and the corporations they run, serve on the boards of, or receive dividends/profits from, don't pay any attention to the likes of folks like you. If they did, they would most likely say something like, "Go ahead! Camp out! Knock yourselves out! Freeze to death! Just don't come near my villa or I'll have you locked up."

Don't believe me? Just listen to Republican lawmakers like John McCain, or GOP presidential candidates like Herman Cain or Newt Gingrich. McCain is calling for lower corporate tax rates (although, one has to ask: how could they go below the 0% that many are paying now?); Cain and Gingrich are suggesting that Occupy protesters are nothing more than layabouts who favor food stamps over a paycheck. Who do you think is funding their campaigns?

If the Occupiers really wish to see the rich take notice of their plight, here's your formula for success: vote with your wallets.

Seriously: stop lining the pockets of the corporations that are making these people rich. Stop going to Wal*Mart. Stop going to Target. Stop going to McDonald's. Stop going to Starbucks. Jesus, stop buying iPhones and Androids and all that other crap that's getting made in China anyway – thus destroying any chance that there will ever again be an American manufacturing base.

If the Occupy people could convince one-third of Americans – plenty less than the vaunted 99% – to boycott General Electric or Microsoft or Apple or (good luck with this) all Chinese-made products for a month, or take their savings out of the big banks and transfer them to local credit unions, you'd see rich people sitting up and taking notice.

Why? Because you'd be taking their money back from them. Most of their millions are only on paper anyway – the value of a stock or a mutual fund.

But this marching in the streets crap? Chanting meaningless, overbaked slogans and tying up the police, costing already cash-strapped cities millions of dollars in overtime and clean-up costs? A waste of time and breath.

Do the smart thing: declare victory, pack up your encampments, and go home and organize a nationwide boycott.

You can start by refusing to read this blog.

Now get outta here, and I mean it.